Fat tax for flights - where does it end?
Expect a lot more elbow room on your next Ryanair flight as you jet away for a much deserved credit crunch distress weekend somewhere in Europe. Ryanair’s passengers (so they say!) are fed up sitting next to lardyarses taking up 1.5 seats for the same price as these thinnies paid to occupy a sparrow’s knee cap sized space next to them.
So let’s extrapolate the idea! You’re buying your next train ticket and the ‘ I look so bored in this job’ lady wearing the wonky customer services badge, sitting behind the desk, asks you to stand on the scales before loudly pronouncing ‘you’re over the limit for just one seat sir’!
Then you take your loved one to the cinema and get told to stand in the fat queue. You pay twice as much for your ticket to see the latest full on, fast and furious (and oh so slim) action sequel just for the privilege of sitting in the fat zone one meter from the screen.
And, next time you hail a cab you are too fat to fit through the standard size door on the offside of the car, cunningly made smaller to filter out the fats from the thins. So you have to walk around the other side of the cab and after getting back your breath, stump up the fat surcharges to cover the extra fuel the taxi uses because you are frankly... a fat ********.
And then you get to the doctors to see if you can shed this excess burden. You have to sit in the fat persons area, next to the addicts, which is opposite those with embarrassing body parts alongside those afflicted with suicide and depressing illnesses [as far away from the kitchen and all those knives]. And as you look around one thing stands out in this new world of citizens with labels….there’s no one sitting in the ‘normal zone’
